Let's Be Honest

Sometimes I like to hide from people.

Tyler and I go to a gathering, often with friends we already know, and he immediately makes his rounds, enjoys conversation, laughs, and communicates with others. Very often when I'm ready to leave, it will take us at least twenty minutes to exit because he has to tell everyone "It was great talking with you. See you later!" This is admirable of him. I respect this.

But I have such a hard time asserting myself. So we're at the gathering mentioned above, and Tyler has gone off into conversation and community. Meanwhile, I've found a corner with an open seat. I usually attempt to sit with one person I know. I sit with the one person and enjoy my drink, food, and some conversation with that one person. It may end up being two or three people by the end of the 2-hour period. It's rarely more than that.

I know it's just because I'm introverted and Tyler is extroverted. But sometimes, when we're out and about, I feel as though I'm rude or exclusive because I don't lean down the table and holler at the girl, already in the middle of a conversation, about what she's wearing or how well she played the guitar at church last week.

I'd rather just hide in my bubble of comfort and enjoy the few people around me. Maybe this is considered hiding. Maybe it's considered getting to know one person more deeply than I knew them before. Maybe it's just as admirable to give all my time and attention to one person rather than a couple minutes to every single person at the event. Or as many as humanly possible.

Both types of people are necessary at a big event. Extroverts make everyone feel welcome. Introverts connect deeply with another person.

I just need to make sure my motivation isn't to hide from other people. I need to make sure I don't leave without telling at least one person "bye." If my motivation really is to make a few lasting connections, I shouldn't feel guilty because I'm not extroverted.

But when I want to hide, I should stay home. End of story.