Happier at Home - Book Review

So, here is the deal on Happier at Home by Gretchen Rubin. It cultivated a contemplative mentality about my attitude in life. I really enjoyed this aspect of the book. I liked all of the active things she did. She would come up with specific, detailed directions to help her in her search for happiness, especially related to her home life.

I think my favorite aspect was about possessions and time. I liked that she felt items should only be in a home if they are beautiful or useful. I need to follow this rule pronto. She also suggested that there is no time like the present, which I agree with in theory but rarely enact on a daily basis. It's true - "these are the good old days."

A good quote
"Also, I suffered from the persistent delusion that once I got through the next three or four months, things would slow down. "I'll have more time during the holidays - or after the holidays - or once the summer's here." I'd promised myself, over and over. But things never slowed down. If I wanted a feeling of unhurriedness, I would have to create it now." - pg. 133

So here is the rub. I felt like her arguments and ideas lacked absolute-ism. I know the book is an example of what she did to seemingly make herself happy and technically I should create my own happiness project, but most of the things she did I probably wouldn't do. So while I enjoyed reading it, there were moments where the description went on too long because I wasn't interested in that particular topic. Most of the things she did wouldn't make me feel happy, and while she argues it's not about feeling happy, I wouldn't enjoy a miniature art project hidden in my kitchen cabinet. I have too many dishes for that.

And it's not just that I wasn't always enraptured by her words, but I also don't feel like she was truly happy either. Very often she would admit her failure to carry out her ideals. She would get behind, get discouraged, and while I'm glad she was honest about it, I also think she is seeking to "feel" happy ultimately without actually being happy. She encourages the reader to find their own happiness, but really I didn't feel like her example led to lifelong happiness, but just to keep creating and fulfilling more goals, an endless cycle that can never be completed.

She has some great points. You cannot make anyone else happy. True.

I don't agree with all her points. I don't believe we alone can make ourselves happy and that focusing on ourselves makes us happy. She says, "we all have to find happiness for ourselves," but I don't think that's within the human realm. We aren't self-sufficient in anything. Sometimes we even need help blowing our noses. We are that needy. She also suggests that a feeling of control is a very important aspect of happiness. A feeling of control can be very misleading. Very often, we may feel in control, but not actually be in control at all. So that false feeling makes us happy? This seems like a nice idea, but none one chose which family to be born in to, none of us chose as to whether or not our boss would hire us or if the stock market would crash. We aren't really in control. So even if I feel like I am, that sense of happiness is a delusion and not something I can put my faith and hope in.

Don't get me wrong, being motivated to be proactive and accomplish goals is positive. But as for it leading to eternal happiness? I'm not convinced.

Just so I'm not a complete Debbie Downer, here are a couple of practical to-do's, which I enjoy and hope to accomplish.
- A door or drawer should be easy to close
- Replace a lightbulb or toilet paper roll right away
- Someplace, keep an empty shelf; someplace, keep a junk drawer

Check out the online Book Club I'm participating in thanks to My Pretty Pennies.

Lately.

It's been a few weeks. I won't apologize. It's not that I haven't been thinking about what to blog and when to blog it. I have, but the posts just haven't materialized.

I'll be honest. I've been struggling with stress and anxiety. It's starting to take a physical toll on my body, too. I've started clenching and grinding my teeth, which I think I did before, but now I'm waking up with a sore jaw. Also, my hair has started falling out, and I have a bald spot (No, I will not show it to you). The hair issue started in Fall '11, but has continued to get worse over time.

It sounds awful, I get married and suddenly I'm stressed and my hair is falling out. But, it's not Tyler's fault. It's mine.

Instead of dealing with any of the stress of the last 10 years, I've compartmentalized it. It's all still jumping around in rooms in my brain, waiting for the door to be opened the slightest amount, and then all of the events and circumstances come flooding back. I find myself an angry person.

My only response emotion is anger. I rarely am excited or surprised by anything. If I'm responding to someone else, I typically feel anger. Don't get me wrong, I still love going to do fun things but my emotions are more diminished than they should be/could be.

Poor Tyler.

Since I've finally realized it, it's time for me to work through everything. It's time for me to embrace pain, loneliness, grief, and fear. Hopefully then, I can move through it and past it.

I'm ready.

Also, this is my favorite picture lately. I love these two guys and their relationship together. Just recently, during E's spring break, my dad taught him to whittle, to drive the tractor on his own, and to take apart a carburetor.

Meet Puppy Walt

Walt and Me

Currently, I'm sitting on my couch, typing away on my iPad, taking small sips of my coffee and putting the mug down without a sound. A few minutes ago it took me 7 minutes to start a load of laundry because I tried to adapt to my kitty's ability to move with silent stealth.

Why all of this quiet? The puppy is asleep.

If he was awake, there is no way I would be writing this blog. In fact, I've even considered crating him for an hour or so to get some work done around the house. I know some would chastise me for it, saying I am an awful puppy mom, but work has got to be done.

We've had Walt/Walter/Walt Whitman for 2 weeks now. Last week, I said to E, as he was chomping through his waffle, that we'd had Walt 1 week, and he stopped mid-chew and looked at me with awe.

"It's only been 1 week?" Even at 2 weeks, I still feel the same way.

It seems like yesterday that my friend, Anna, and I drove up to Statesville and brought home this ball of fluff. This ball of fluff that has grown in the 2 week we've had him. He is now 10 lbs and eats like a hog. He also chews on everything. It seems like we just got him and yet it seems as if our life has always been like this.

Some things we've learned in the last 2 weeks:
1. We understand why homeowners don't want to rent a house to someone with a pet. If we weren't so careful, Walt would chew up everything, but he hasn't chewed anything yet. He did attempt to chew the tile floor in the kitchen, which was laughable. I stopped him merely for his own sake.
2. Puppies are sad their first night away from their parents/siblings and cry all night long, preventing anyone in the house from sleeping.
3. Praise works best. Food too.
4. When in doubt, take them out. Walt hasn't had an accident since last Thursday.
5. Watch out for tiny feet when going out the back door. Poor Walty got his foot stuck in the door and we had serious confusion about whether or not he was ok. My thoughts? "Great, we've had the dog 4 days and have already broken him."
6. E and Walt are BFFs.
7. By the time 10 pm rolls around, Tyler and I are exhausted.

But Walt is so cute that all of it is worth it. He is so much fun in moments when he's not biting my pants, shoes, socks, fingers, face, etc., and we are so thrilled to have him. I'm pumped for the day when he's big enough and vaccinated, so I can take him running with me.