There's no good way to say Pusey

I've been doing a study on Melissa Kruger's book The Envy of Eve (I've mentioned it before), and I recently came across some words by E.B. Pusey (1800-1882). Yes, there is no good way to say his last name. I've racked my brain for all sorts of different pronunciations, but my hope is that it was pronounced with a French accent for his sake.

No matter how you say his last name, he had this challenging list of rules for growing contentment. You've got to get beyond the thou's and the thyself's, but the list is incredible and tells a lot about the state of my discontent heart. Here is the list with my own commentary added:

1. Allow thyself to complain of nothing, not even the weather.

Let me just say that I can complain about any weather situation. It's either too hot or too cold. The wind is just too much, the humidity, the drought, the excessive rain, etc. And the weather is just the tip of the iceberg.

2. Never picture thyself to thyself under any circumstances in which thou are not.

At first I didn't get this one, but it's a knife in the chest. It's so easy to over-exaggerate about my circumstances and wallow in my own self-pity or despair. I don't even have to have other people tell me how sorry they are for me. If I convince myself a situation is worse than it really is, then I've lost more than half of the battle right there.

3. Never compare thine own lot with that of another.

Well, this one about says it all. Do not compare yourself to others. Yes, we've all heard this since we were children, but it's just as true for adults. Actually, adults probably compare themselves with each other more than children. Only teenage girls rival adults in comparison, and I can say that because I was a teenage girl and I still have my memory.

4. Never allow thyself to dwell on the wish that this or that had been, or were, otherwise than it was, or is. God Almighty loves thee better and more wisely than though doest thyself.

While this language is particularly confusing, I think it brings me back to what my friend, Jenna, brought up in our recent discussion. She reminded me of this amazing series I read as a teenager (not the most quality literature but good for teen girls) called the Christy Miller Series. In that series, Christy talks about living in the land of "if only." This is detrimental to our current happiness in that we fantasize about all the things that could have happened, or should have happened, or we wish had happened instead of focusing on reality and what actually did happen. I find myself there a lot these days. 

5. Never dwell on the morrow. Remember that it is God's, not thine. The heaviest part of sorrow often is to look forward to it. The Lord will provide.

I don't know about you, but I never, and I mean rarely ever, never, not many times ever, look forward to sorrow. I don't celebrate because my heart is torn in two. I basically do the opposite of 1-4 in situations where I am out of control and don't have things going my way. 

I'd say these 5 guidelines get successively harder. But I'm tired of discontentment (here I am complaining about discontentment, breaking number 1). I'm ready to move forward and enjoy what I have been given like being chilled to the bone (we live in NC, so it's not that cold), and I'm ready to spread joy and happiness in my conversations with others.

I'm going to make these muffins for E this weekend.

New favorite blazer in Rust!

Asteroid Attack

from Mashable.com

It's happening like the movies.

Asteroid Surprise. Sounds like a breakfast cereal or dog food.

But seriously, the videos of asteroids in the Russian sky look like a scene from a sci-fi thriller. Will Smith and his alien guns should at least be present to make the realistic seem more fantastic.

I guess this "not too rosy" outlook for more of these asteroids happening and people being wounded (over 1,000 to date!) doesn't really hit home that much as I've never been to Siberia, nor Russia, and it's hard to relate to their struggle here in my Charlotte bubble of snow that doesn't stick and homemade lattes from my hubby in the early afternoon.

Not that I don't have sympathy for these people. I absolutely think it's awful they experienced that, though it was an epic sight. I cannot envy or comprehend the sound of it or the ringing in their ears they will experience for days.

But doesn't it just seem contrived? With all of the post-apocalyptic literature and movies taking the stage these days, it just seems like reality is impersonating what it's read or watched. As if we humans expected something like this to happen, therefore it did.

I cannot get over this video. It just seems surreal.

Happy Friday!

It never stops surprising me how quickly the weeks fly by. This weekend I'm taking extra time out to clean our house and straighten some of the random things we haven't put away since the move. If there is not room, they're going in the trash. I'm always challenged to break my packrat habits. I have to practice so hopefully one day, I won't want to keep every little thing.

Also, my brother-in-law is coming in town, so we'll be entertaining and enjoying time with him.

I may do some gardening as well. Any suggestions? I'm pulling up a bunch of monkey grass and planting something...but the question is what? What are you planting this year?

I was thinking some of these mostly because Tyler gave me some for Valentine's day!

From RunnersDelight

I think it's time to call the Mother-figure. She always know what plants are in season.

Have a great, restful weekend.

In honor of President's Day on Monday, enjoy a military Harlem Shake.

The Fingernail Project

I bite my fingernails. It's my dirty habit that isn't so much a secret because no one thinks, oh wow, she cuts her nails really short. No one cuts their nails that short.

The only times in my whole life when I've had fingernails that exceeded my fingertip were when I was on prenatal vitamins and when I got fake gel ones for my wedding (which were a huge mistake, felt uncomfortable, and I ended up jamming one off while Tyler and I played pool on our honeymoon. Never again).

But I'm tired of ugly nails. I really don't even have the option to get a manicure, not that I'm itching to run out and get one, but it would be nice to have the option.

Hence, I introduce the Fingernail Project.

My attempts to stop biting my nails:
1. Keep them painted a light/non-overbearing color
2. Take GNC WOMEN'S Hair, Skin & Nails Formula vitamins daily
3. Whenever I think to bite or pick my nails, I will calmly and collectedly sit on my hands until the temptation passes*
4. I will post a picture of my nappy hands online weekly to show my hopeful progress and fun polish colors.

*Driving and standing up are the exceptions to this rule. In these cases, I will shove them in my pockets, put them at 10 and 2 on the steering wheel, or just separate my hands from each other at all costs.

Week 1 picture. The nail polish is a cheap-o color I found at Rite Aid. Julie's Chic Cipro.

Week 1 - Julie's Chic Cipro

BTW, Steve Martin is a dad. His wife doesn't look 41.

And I really like this song. And this one.

What We Do

Pretend to hate the cat and then snuggle with her

Style it up!

Show off my nephew(center)!

Design crazy, green men.

Let tooth pulling be the highlight at our superbowl party

Lose the first tooth at 8. I pulled it.

Snuggle and Read. Repeat.

Bossypants Book Review

Dear Tina Fey,

I couldn't stop laughing. My dad is a southern version of yours.

Sincerely,
Melissa LaCross

P.S. I've never actually watched 30 Rock, but I hope to if it's on Netflix.

Some favorite quotes from Bossypants:

"What Turning Forty Means to Me: I need to take my pants off as soon as I get home. I didn't used to have to do that. But now I do" (265). *

"I searched the audience for him(dad) during the sixth-grade chorus concert and, seeing his stern expression, was convinced that he had seen me messing up the words to the Happy Days theme and that I was in big trouble. I spent the rest of the concert suppressing terror burps, only to be given a big hug and a kiss afterward. It took me years to realize, Oh, that's just his face" (46). 

"'Remember when we saw Titanic how mad I was at Kate WInslet when say what? climbed out of the lifeboat and back onto the ship? I think say what? encumbered Leonardo DiCaprio. If say what? had gone on the lifeboat, then he could have had that piece of wood say what? was floating on and they both would have survived. I would never do that to you" (101). 

"On Wednesday night, Alice and I drew a picture of Peter Pan to hang up at the party. I explained to her the apparent licensing problem with the plates. Say what? was understanding and suggested we relax by pretending to be Wendy and a mermaid for the next sixty-five minutes" (204). 

"Also, my crying three times a year doesn't distract me from my job any more than my male coworkers get distracted watching March Madness or shooting one another with Nerf guns" (258-259). 

"First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches" (261). 

"There is no one of-woman-born who does not like Red Lobster cheddar biscuits. Anyone who claims otherwise is a liar and a Socialist" (252). 

"Also, I encourage them (young women who want career advice) to always wear a bra. Even if you don't think you need it, just...you know what? You're never going to regret it" (88).

*I feel this way at 27. By 40 I will be wearing track suits daily.

Let me just say this book made me wish I was hilarious. Moments of literal laughing out loud were frequent, and Tyler finally stopped asking me what was happening because he was tired of my one-liners from the book, which were hilarious in context, but didn't make as much sense to him without me reading 2 whole pages. He wasn't really up for that.

One of the things I really admire about Tina Fey is how she broke into comedy, a world typically dominated by men, and made a name for herself and for women as writers and comedians. Of course, she did all of this while being a wife and mom. I definitely don't envy the hours she works each week, but instead how she really loves what she does both at home and at work.

I honestly didn't have expectations going into this book, as I don't watch 30 Rock and have had so few experiences with SNL, though I've enjoyed the skits I have seen. I really enjoyed the story of her life growing up because she was nerdy and awkward, which I can totally relate to, and so that part of her life kept me really entertained. I like the chapters highlighting one particularly crazy week in her life (where she played Sarah Palin and simultaneously worked on 30 Rock, met Oprah, and hosted her daughter's birthday), but some of the other work stuff wasn't as interesting to me. With celebrities, hearing about their relatively "normal" personal lives and management skills intrigues me the most. I also really loved her beauty tips and pointers for photo shoots.

Fey's book celebrates working women and achieving dreams others often think aren't possible. If you are not a fan of SNL or are uncomfortable with the language used on the show, you shouldn't read this book. As Fey has been a writer on SNL, not surprisingly, the language in the book mirrors that of the show. There were moments where I felt some of it was completely unnecessary, but having lived through public high school and college, I have learned to overlook what comes out of peoples' mouths. She didn't have nearly as many F-bombs as "Next To Normal," the play I went to see a few weekends ago.

If you've thought about wanting to read it, go ahead and do it! If you want to be entertained and don't mind language you wouldn't want your elementary school kid to hear, read it. If you don't answer yes to any of the above, avoid it at all costs.

Our Grammy Experience

T: "Do you think E has been in bed long enough for us to make popcorn without him wanting some?"

M: "No, wait a few."

T: "Why do they keep showing Taylor Swift's reaction to everything?"

M: "Because she has a wedding dress on."
"Look at Justin Timberlake's hair...It looks a lot like yours."

T: "I thought he had curly hair. How did he get it to look so good?"

M: "I think he does. He obviously didn't do his own hair. Justin Timberlake sounds better than Mumford & Sons."

T: "Nice. Black and White for JT's song. People all around America are wondering if their TV just broke."

M: "Oh look. The guy from Maroon 5 has the same hair cut as Justin Timberlake, You, and Andy Hoffman."

T: "Megan Clouse (our hairstylist) was on the cutting edge with that look."
"If LL says hashtag one more time, I'm going to rip our TV off the wall."

M: Stares at him

T: "I'll rip it lightly."
"When I look at some of these outfits, it makes me wonder why we still wear clothes."

M: "Miranda Lambert's dress is just too short to be on stage from this angle."

T: "I think it passes the fingertip test."

M: "No way!"

T: "Maybe she just has short arms."

M: "Oh look, it's another Taylor Swift reaction and arm wave."
"Do you think it's awkward that Rihanna and Chris Brown are at the same show?"

T: "They might be back together."

M: "Has she lost too much weight?"

T: "I like her voice."
"What's the big deal with Bob Marley? I've just never gotten it."

M: "He brought reggae to the world. Look at those dreads."
"I love tattoos. They just look so good, especially when dressed up with a nice shirt."

T: "It's your original sin that attracts you to tattoos. I'll forgive you."
"Taylor Swift again?"

M: "Popcorn time."
"Adele's dress looks like a grandmother or Dolores Umbridge from Harry Potter."

T: "I love it."

M: "Wait. Is she pregnant? She just said the last year's winner got knocked up. Did she win last year?"

T: "I don't know."
 "Is that Jack White?"

M: "No that is a random guy with Rihanna. Jack White looks like Johnny Depp's and Tim Burton's wife's child."
"THAT is Jack White with some creepy ghost-looking women."

T: Falls asleep

Sayings of the Boy

My Pensive and Verbose Cowboy

"Oh, that hurts my nozzle." - While playing Angry Birds.

"Graenblanz." - Later translated to mean "oatmeal" in his language. The emphasis is on the second syllable. It must be spoken with an almost German accent.

"When are we going to have another baby?" "What if it's not in Jesus' plan for us to have another baby?" "Could we adopt?" (This progression made my heart so happy and nostalgic).

I told him his spelling word was toad. He needed to write a sentence. His response? "I toad you to wash the clothes? Hahahahhahahaha."

Mary Kulp - Ethan, what was your favorite part of Christmas?
Ethan - Probably getting to see family.

"We about to go cray-cray." - While playing Jetpack Joyride.

Upon seeing the book "How People Change" in my hand - "So I've been seeing that book a lot. So, when are you guys going to change?"

I am a queen.

Yes, I have my own kingdom. You're surprised because I seem least likely to don a tiara and prance around in a sparkling gown. But it's true. Daily, most of the things I decide to do and hope for further the kingdom of Melissa.

Everything is just fine in the Kingdom of Melissa until the Kingdom of Tyler or the Kingdom of Ethan throws a wrench into my plans. Then my frustration builds, and we end up with an all-out war between the kingdoms. Whichever kingdom has more power or logic typically wins. And the other kingdoms are left frustrated and hoping for a re-battle the next day or even hour.

The kingdoms are like tectonic plates. They rub each other the wrong way and POOF! Earthquake. POOF! Tsunami. POOF! Volcano.

Isn't this how we seem to function daily? I was reminded a few days ago how often my interactions with other people are based on what I need to get done on my timetable with my motives.

And to what end? What is the end goal of my kingdom? What is the point? To merely keep me "happy" if everyone else obeys and worships what I decide? What about others' kingdoms? Do I care about their goals or hopes?

And really, should I have a kingdom at all? Am I really fit to be in any kind of control? HECK NO!

Now, some of you aren't tracking with me because you say, "I'm pretty laid back. I go with the flow, and I'm generally good with whatever others want to do."

But wouldn't part of you agree you run the Kingdom of Keeping the Peace, The Kingdom of Others' Approval, The Kingdom of No Conflict? And whoever forces you to make a decision, whoever prevents you from being passive, whoever makes you nervous because you may have to cause conflict, better watch out because you want to send the troops out after them, spears and all. Yes, this is still a kingdom.

So ultimately, I have to give up my kingdom because I'm not the One who should be in charge.
And, as Paul Tripp reminded me, If I pray that tiny prayer — The Lord's Prayer — I'm saying, "thy kingdom come, thy will be done." That really means my kingdom will be obliterated. I cannot be in control if I'm asking God to be. So that tiny prayer isn't so tiny. I'm asking for my Queendom to be over. I'm asking to be taken from the throne and replaced by God.

While this sounds so typical, and we easily say, "Of course I want God to be in control." On a daily level, this is much harder and seemingly impossible than just saying we want it. It's a daily happening, abdicating the throne.

Yes, I do have a blog!

Do you remember that time when I had 5 jobs, and we were getting ready to move? 

Yes, that was the time I didn't blog for a month. But the hiatus is over. I'm back.

It's been a whirlwind of a month. I stared at a computer screen for about 6 hours a day, took care of E and Tyler, packed boxes, moved, started my semester teaching, took an online class to teach online classes, and turned 27 at the end of January.

I've been a giant ball of stress, and it hasn't been pretty. You can ask Tyler. 

Our house is starting to look organized. We have a long ways to go, but I'm pumped to blog about it.

In other news, I'm starting to think of doing an overhaul and update to this page, so be looking for that in the near future. I'm finally starting to get excited about 2013 and what this year is going to bring.

The new house

Birthday Cake by Tyler

Birthday Basket from E