I am a queen.

Yes, I have my own kingdom. You're surprised because I seem least likely to don a tiara and prance around in a sparkling gown. But it's true. Daily, most of the things I decide to do and hope for further the kingdom of Melissa.

Everything is just fine in the Kingdom of Melissa until the Kingdom of Tyler or the Kingdom of Ethan throws a wrench into my plans. Then my frustration builds, and we end up with an all-out war between the kingdoms. Whichever kingdom has more power or logic typically wins. And the other kingdoms are left frustrated and hoping for a re-battle the next day or even hour.

The kingdoms are like tectonic plates. They rub each other the wrong way and POOF! Earthquake. POOF! Tsunami. POOF! Volcano.

Isn't this how we seem to function daily? I was reminded a few days ago how often my interactions with other people are based on what I need to get done on my timetable with my motives.

And to what end? What is the end goal of my kingdom? What is the point? To merely keep me "happy" if everyone else obeys and worships what I decide? What about others' kingdoms? Do I care about their goals or hopes?

And really, should I have a kingdom at all? Am I really fit to be in any kind of control? HECK NO!

Now, some of you aren't tracking with me because you say, "I'm pretty laid back. I go with the flow, and I'm generally good with whatever others want to do."

But wouldn't part of you agree you run the Kingdom of Keeping the Peace, The Kingdom of Others' Approval, The Kingdom of No Conflict? And whoever forces you to make a decision, whoever prevents you from being passive, whoever makes you nervous because you may have to cause conflict, better watch out because you want to send the troops out after them, spears and all. Yes, this is still a kingdom.

So ultimately, I have to give up my kingdom because I'm not the One who should be in charge.
And, as Paul Tripp reminded me, If I pray that tiny prayer — The Lord's Prayer — I'm saying, "thy kingdom come, thy will be done." That really means my kingdom will be obliterated. I cannot be in control if I'm asking God to be. So that tiny prayer isn't so tiny. I'm asking for my Queendom to be over. I'm asking to be taken from the throne and replaced by God.

While this sounds so typical, and we easily say, "Of course I want God to be in control." On a daily level, this is much harder and seemingly impossible than just saying we want it. It's a daily happening, abdicating the throne.