Let's Be Honest - Stage Fright Edition

Imagine sitting on a stage, playing piano, a microphone in front of your face, and an audience of more than 200 staring at you, waiting to hear your voice. Your knees tremble, and you haven't sung in public in 10 years.

Ok, so it wasn't really that bad, but this past Sunday I "sang" at church for the first time. I've been playing piano once a month and am finally (maybe?) getting used to the audience, guitar chord sheets, and following the worship leader and drummer's commands. I was finally relaxing.

But Saturday I got a text from my dear friend, Sage, who has an amazing voice — she was even in TakeNote for the Clemson crowd. The text said, "I cannot sing tomorrow because my voice is totally gone. Jeremy and Paul may ask you to sing. Please do it. Your voice is beautiful."

I immediately felt like I was going to throw up. And I was standing in the middle of Charlotte's baby shower. Panic. Moment.

My first response? HECK NO! Why just that morning my mother asked, "Melissa, are you going to sing at church on Sunday, too?" I replied confidently, "No. I don't sing anymore."

Famous last words.

But Sage is an amazing friend, and I would do almost anything for her. So that's how I found myself sitting on stage Sunday morning singing harmony.

Let me break in and say that there were five other people on stage besides me and I was successfully hidden in the back corner behind the baby grand. So, it wasn't as if anyone actually was staring at me — except maybe Tyler, but that's his job. I wasn't even the only one singing. Jeremy and Paul were up front, loud and clear.

Even still, I froze. It was a "ride or die" moment and I definitely died. I literally could not find it in me to put my face in front of the microphone and sing.

Confession to those of you who haven't known me long — I was in show choir in high school. I was never a soloist performer, but I definitely got used to being on stage in front of people while singing. But it's been years.

So I was sitting there through the first few songs, tight lipped, focusing on my piano playing. Jeremy had even asked me to sing closer to the mic if possible.  I really couldn't. I did start singing to the side of the mic or holding my head away from it while singing. But I could hear nothing from my in-ears, obviously meaning no one in the congregation could hear me as well.

But then I remembered back to my conversation with Tyler the night before. We were sitting outside at this authentic Italian place, nice atmosphere and company, it was great. He asked what I was so afraid of. And my honest answer had been that I was afraid people would hear me sing and laugh because it was awful. I felt like an 8-year-old again. I was so scared of what everyone else thought instead of focusing on my task - playing and singing to God. Making harmony to the Lord.

It wasn't really this huge moment. I didn't suddenly burst into song in perfect harmony. I didn't wow the audience. I'm actually not sure anyone really heard me at all. But for the last few songs, I slowly moved closer and closer to the mic, attempting to throw a few notes in.

I feel kind of silly and ashamed about my behavior, but I shouldn't. I'd do it again if I needed to. I'd like to practice some more and be a bit more comfortable with singing into a mic. But I learned something from it. It's not worth having a microphone in front of you if you aren't going to sing. I just needed to do it. And I kind of did.