Happier at Home - Book Review

So, here is the deal on Happier at Home by Gretchen Rubin. It cultivated a contemplative mentality about my attitude in life. I really enjoyed this aspect of the book. I liked all of the active things she did. She would come up with specific, detailed directions to help her in her search for happiness, especially related to her home life.

I think my favorite aspect was about possessions and time. I liked that she felt items should only be in a home if they are beautiful or useful. I need to follow this rule pronto. She also suggested that there is no time like the present, which I agree with in theory but rarely enact on a daily basis. It's true - "these are the good old days."

A good quote
"Also, I suffered from the persistent delusion that once I got through the next three or four months, things would slow down. "I'll have more time during the holidays - or after the holidays - or once the summer's here." I'd promised myself, over and over. But things never slowed down. If I wanted a feeling of unhurriedness, I would have to create it now." - pg. 133

So here is the rub. I felt like her arguments and ideas lacked absolute-ism. I know the book is an example of what she did to seemingly make herself happy and technically I should create my own happiness project, but most of the things she did I probably wouldn't do. So while I enjoyed reading it, there were moments where the description went on too long because I wasn't interested in that particular topic. Most of the things she did wouldn't make me feel happy, and while she argues it's not about feeling happy, I wouldn't enjoy a miniature art project hidden in my kitchen cabinet. I have too many dishes for that.

And it's not just that I wasn't always enraptured by her words, but I also don't feel like she was truly happy either. Very often she would admit her failure to carry out her ideals. She would get behind, get discouraged, and while I'm glad she was honest about it, I also think she is seeking to "feel" happy ultimately without actually being happy. She encourages the reader to find their own happiness, but really I didn't feel like her example led to lifelong happiness, but just to keep creating and fulfilling more goals, an endless cycle that can never be completed.

She has some great points. You cannot make anyone else happy. True.

I don't agree with all her points. I don't believe we alone can make ourselves happy and that focusing on ourselves makes us happy. She says, "we all have to find happiness for ourselves," but I don't think that's within the human realm. We aren't self-sufficient in anything. Sometimes we even need help blowing our noses. We are that needy. She also suggests that a feeling of control is a very important aspect of happiness. A feeling of control can be very misleading. Very often, we may feel in control, but not actually be in control at all. So that false feeling makes us happy? This seems like a nice idea, but none one chose which family to be born in to, none of us chose as to whether or not our boss would hire us or if the stock market would crash. We aren't really in control. So even if I feel like I am, that sense of happiness is a delusion and not something I can put my faith and hope in.

Don't get me wrong, being motivated to be proactive and accomplish goals is positive. But as for it leading to eternal happiness? I'm not convinced.

Just so I'm not a complete Debbie Downer, here are a couple of practical to-do's, which I enjoy and hope to accomplish.
- A door or drawer should be easy to close
- Replace a lightbulb or toilet paper roll right away
- Someplace, keep an empty shelf; someplace, keep a junk drawer

Check out the online Book Club I'm participating in thanks to My Pretty Pennies.