10 Years Ago

After reading, "What Alice Forgot" by Liane Moriarty, I'm left considering how people change and what 10 years can do to how we act.

It's frightening to think that in 10 years my values and daily habits could have changed so much as to seem like a completely different person, maybe even a person I wouldn't enjoy being around or having as a friend.

Would you want to be your own friend? Would you trust yourself with all your secrets and emotions?

I'm not sure if I'd want to be my own friend, but I'm thankful for all of the people who do. I honestly don't know that I'll have changed that much in 10 years.

But then I think back to 10-years-ago, when I was 17, and I realize how my life and habits have changed since then.

10-years-ago I didn't drink coffee, I didn't exercise regularly, I consumed entirely too much meat and not nearly enough nutrients. I ate a pack of crackers and half an apple for lunch, and I often bought Grandma's cookies from the cafeteria at school.

10-years-ago I wasn't thankful for friends or family. I took everything for granted and planned my future as if I knew exactly what would happen and when. As Tom Hawkes said this past Sunday, "If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans."

I probably still take most things for granted, but I've come so far as to be aware that I do so and hope to be more thankful daily.

While I wonder if 10 years could change me that much, 9-years-ago my life was changed as I was 18-years-old and pregnant during my senior year of high school.

8-years-old I became an adult. My values changed, my goals changed, I knew I had no control over anything. I no longer hoped for a regular college experience. I no longer hoped to travel abroad as an exchange student or live in Europe for a few years. I just hoped to be self-sustaining for E and myself.

So when I think about it in retrospect, I know I could be dramatically different as I get closer to 40, but I hope that unlike Alice's character in "What Alice Forgot," I won't be a horrendous, overachiever soccer mom who has no joy in life but controlling and over-managing her children's lives, friends, mothers, and events.

Only by the grace of God...

How much have you changed in 10 years?

By the way, I really want to start packing lunches this way.